  |
| |
| Social Services Waiting for the helpless feeling to pass June 2 , 2004 This column examines the ways in which New York State United Teachers' Social Services Department helps union members with decisions about counseling, elder care and other social issues — including tapping into networks of services in communities around New York state. Q: Six months ago, I broke things off with my fiancé. Everyone said he was rude and inconsiderate of my feelings. While I know they're right, and I'm proud I had the courage to make a change, it's been hard getting my life back on track alone. It's gotten so bad, in fact, that just getting out of bed in the morning is a struggle. I don't really want to socialize either; I end up making excuses whenever my friends or family ask me to go out. I've thought about getting counseling, but shouldn't I be able to handle my own problems? On the other hand, I've been waiting for this helpless feeling to pass — and it hasn't. I'm feeling overwhelmed. Help! A: First, there's not an adult on the planet who hasn't gone through emotional turmoil during a time of change, an unexpected event or a major life decision. So no, there's nothing wrong with you — you're just human. Second, let's put aside preconceived notions you might have about counseling. "Try thinking of therapy as a tool that will speed up the healing or decision-making process and get your life back to the way you want it," says Dr. Will Swift, a Manhattan-based counselor. What's more, a lot of people will see a counselor for short periods — so don't feel like you'll be locked into a lifetime of visits if you only require a few, says Swift. Referral If you need a referral — or want help figuring out whether seeing a therapist might be helpful — you can call NYSUT Social Services. The staff can check out credentials for counselors in your area and pass the information on to you. And they'll do it anonymously: The only way a therapist gets your name and number is if you call and give it to him or her yourself, says Laurie Kupperstein, a gerontologist who works with NYSUT Social Services. Situations a therapist can help with include:
"Almost everyone could benefit from some additional, nonjudgmental support to pull through a crisis period," says Kupperstein. NYSUT Social Services staff can even help bolster your courage if you're having a hard time scheduling that initial appointment, she adds. "Sometimes the biggest piece of work in therapy is picking up the phone," says Swift. "The work you do once you come in for an appointment can often seem a lot easier by comparison." If you have questions about what a session with a therapist might be like, says Scott Hicks, a certified social worker who works with NYSUT Social Services, "the Social Services staff will take the time to explain how the counseling process works and why it might help you." |
|
| | |