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Coping with cancer School psychologist learns 'what community is all about'  September 24, 2003 Schenectady school psychologist Maureen Lynch and her daughter, Magdalena. Lynch will join the 'Making Strides' walk to promote research. 'We've come such a long way with early detection, but the knowledge about intervention hasn't kept up.' FOR MORE INFORMATION: nysut.org/makingstrides SEE ALSO : Maureen Lynch's award-winning essay As a school psychologist, Maureen Lynch is often the first one colleagues go to for support and advice - about everything from how to reach that recalcitrant kid to parenting questions. But two years ago, Lynch found herself on the other side, relying on friends and colleagues to get her through a year-long struggle against breast cancer. "For the first time, I had to depend on them for help," she said. "Their support was overwhelming ... friends are what make the whole terrifying experience manageable." It was the fall of 2001; she was 47. Lynch, a former special ed teacher in New York City, had just completed her doctoral studies and felt lucky to have landed a full-time school psychologist job in Schenectady. She was getting settled into a job she loved and catching up on her health checkups. She wasn't worried about her mammogram: Her baseline exam at age 35 and a follow-up had shown nothing suspicious. When she was recalled for another mammogram, she assured herself it was fairly routine. But the news wasn't good. The irregular calcification indicated there could be cancer. A biopsy confirmed just that. After further surgery showed the ductal cancer had spread throughout her breast, that's when her world caved in. "When I heard the word mastectomy, that's when I fell through the floor," said Lynch. "It became a life-threatening situation ... I'm a single mom with a 7-year-old. Suddenly you're forced to think about who you'd want to raise your daughter." That's when the school community's support network took root. Colleagues at both the Martin Luther King Magnet School and Mont Pleasant Middle School came through. "A lot of us in education are not good at taking help," said the Schenectady Federation of Teachers member. "My colleagues just sort of took it upon themselves to step in. Perhaps the most precious gift they gave me was the ability to continue my daily life. They brought in dinner dishes so I didn't have to cook. They'd come over and take my daughter to the park so I could make a couple phone calls in private." People with colleagues and loved ones with cancer often don't know what to say. It's awkward. "Your natural instinct is to reassure them, but that's not always the right thing to do," Lynch said. There was a turning point when someone stopped her in the hallway and asked how she was. "She looked me in the eye and I finally found the courage to say, 'I'm terrified.' "Of course you are," said the colleague, giving her a hug. "That's when it hit me - I didn't need comfort," Lynch said. "I needed someone to listen. It felt so wonderful to not have to be strong." People with cancer often want to talk about nothing but cancer; other times cancer is the last thing they want to talk about, Lynch explained. "You only find out by listening." Despite her counseling background, Lynch felt uncertain on how and when to talk with her 7-year-old daughter, Magdalena, about the breast cancer. "My oncologist didn't really have good information on this, so I turned to my colleagues," she said. "Our district has eight school psychologists and every one had a different opinion. But each was eager to help - even though I had only been there a few months. It really opened my eyes to what the school community's all about." Lynch, in turn, has given back to the school community, well beyond her work as an inner-city school psychologist. When she won a national "Write to Fight" essay contest sponsored by Self magazine last spring, she gave the $5,000 charity donation to Healthy Women Partnership of Schenectady County to help pay for breast cancer tests for women with no insurance. Lynch's touching essay, available via at www.championforwomen.com, used her personal and professional expertise to teach readers how to delicately handle the situation when someone they know has cancer. "Most of all, I appreciate my coworkers who understand that though the cancer itself is gone, the healing often takes a lot longer," said Lynch. - Sylvia Saunders Join the breast cancer fight New York State United Teachers is a flagship sponsor of next month's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walks around the state. This year, many unionists will be walking in honor of American Federation of Teachers President Sandra Feldman. Feldman, who has been fighting breast cancer this year, will be walking in Central Park in Manhattan. On Oct. 5, Buffalo and Binghamton will host walks. On Oct 19, fund-raising walks will be held in Central Park, Queens, Staten Island, Brooklyn, Long Island, Westchester County, the Hudson Valley, Albany, Rochester, Syracuse and Utica. To sign up for a NYSUT team or donate, check with your local president, NYSUT regional office, or visit NYSUT's Web site at www.nysut.org/makingstrides, for on-line registration and other information. Last year, more than 7,500 NYSUT members helped raise more than $500,000 for the American Cancer Society event. "Fighting cancer is a team effort - the strength of many people coming together for a common cause," said NYSUT First Vice President Antonia Cortese, who will walk in the Albany event.
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